He loved her, and because he loved her, he shouldn’t have let her have her way. He felt like he should have been strong enough for both of them. There was too much at stake in her future to have chanced it.He felt the lump of money in his pocket. It would finish the barn. That was good. It was needful. But he wasn’t proud. He felt like he had done something wrong, somehow.He thought about Misty. He would, most likely, never be able to see their child, not in any meaningful way. He was sure she’d be a good mother, but he knew what it was like to have no father.He drove on. He wasn’t used to being frustrated. He wasn’t used to feeling like he couldn’t hold his head up. He wasn’t used to feeling like he was spinning his wheels ... going no place ... doing things that accomplishing nothing that he could view as positive.He didn’t like it.Agatha finished her preparations for supper. Michelle had had to teach her to cook, which had made her feel foolish, at first. Now, with Michelle gone. He wanted her, again. Not just yet, but he wanted her. Despite his best efforts to drown himself in the softness of her, the thoughts slowly started to surface. Unwanted, unasked-for thoughts. The exhilaration of discovery, the deep in-breath of freedom…they lingered at the edges of his mind. But the questions were steadily pressing in, forcing out the light. As if sensing his growing detachment, she dragged her lips away from his, leaning back, putting a little space between their bodies. He tried to concentrate on the smooth warmth of her legs still entwined between his and not the question in her face. He watched as she slowly scanned the room. ‘Where-?’ ‘My room,’ he said, frowning as her eyes widened in surprise. ‘Yours?’ She looked around again with renewed interest, though he still didn’t like the incredulity in her voice. Where had she though he’d brought her? Did he even want to know? Her eyes came back to his, but now they were shuttered and unreadable. Here we go, he.
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